I'll set you free. You'll be free from my hands, my eyes, my skin, my words. I'll see if you notice, if you take it into consideration that you're at risk for losing me.

I just want to know.
Am i really going to be with you 50 years from now?
Or am i just going to be where I am know?
Dead.

Just fucking care about me.
Just fucking pretend at least.

I thought you knew the heart wrenching pain i in my fists.
I thought you were going to be different.
I"m sick of hurting.
Crying.
Fucking begging for a new beginning.
I'm not going to be one of those people who don't do what they say. I'm going to do it, and it's going to be great. And if you love me in the morning, then i guess we're in love. and if you don't then i guess we're not.

Essentially, I've learned everyone is gonna let you down.
No matter how fucking hard you try to prevent it.

Life sucks.

Is is wrong to not eat for a day to begin my reinvention process?
I mean, i'm not even thinking about my body.
this is all mental.
i feel like i just need to completely renew myself in every way possible.


I am so unhappy.
And I am so scared I'm going to be good enough to fuck forever.
But never good enough to love/////

My blood vessels are racing to the end, praying for a win. I can't stand the blanks in my life anymore, I can't stand the missing parts, and I don't even know what they are.

Basically, getting my life together while living in the midst of the worst economical state is kind of hard.



help.

We're painted faded with smiles drawn on. The sky is blacker than the streets. The stars can't remember how to sing. And all the winds and all the pieces of dust that is flying around us won't make us feel infinite, not tonight. There's a hole in the moon, the size of my heart. The whole world can see through it, and their eyes reach the universe and disappointment sets in.



I want someone to look at me and take every move i make and every word i say and turn it into a story. I don't care who they are, where they are, what they're doing. I was someone to write beautiful things about ME, for once.

It's 4:48 AM on Halloween morning. For some reason, i woke up and decided to write.

I don't understand why i can still find myself dwelling and sulking over him. This is the worst anniversary yet. This Halloween will not be like last year...

I had never seen such perfection in one moment before. My body was shaking and it was freezing out and he kissed me with no one looking, and when he did he cut out my soul, and stupid love let me watch it fly right from my fingertips. I didn't go trick or treating, not once. My whole night was centered around him, and in the end...i think we both got what we wanted. Essentially, he used me that Halloween night, and I think it's a curse. The way his hair looked, the way he smiled, the way we sat across from each other, every spot i've ever been in the same presence as him...it's all burned into my memory.
And I'm sorry i don't have fancy deep words right now, but i think tonight i finally realized, FINALLY, that he just used me. He told me he loved me, he lied. He told me he cared, he was probably just trying to protect his rep. He tasted like drunk kisses as everything started to spin. I fell in love this day last year with you. And you know what? It's been 365 SICKENING days. And I'm fucking done writing about a no good, using, fuck-faced, asshole. You wasted a year of my life. You fucking tortured me. And you ruined all my stories...with your Name. And it's finally Halloween again and all I have left to say to you Colin...is FUCK YOU FOR BREAKING MY HEART. WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.


Happy Fucking Halloween.

My life is treacherous, but i am a pessimist. I'm worried about the future, about what i'm holding in my hands. Somedays all i can see is the moon's shadow leaning over me, watching me, waiting for me to decide what i need, what i want.
As her heart lies on the floor along with her very own being she says, "whoever created us, weather it was god, or some huge explosion in the sky... should have given us wings. And then we could fly away from anything."
He responded confused, just the reaction she expected.
I'm scared and there isn't any other word i could use right now.

I've never been so scared for my future in my entire life.
I've never wanted to press reset so bad... never.